


How to be Truthful

by Neffer_Tari



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Boys In Love, Conflicted Oikawa, First Love, Friendship/Love, High School, Homework, Idiots in Love, It is difficult to be honest, Iwaizumi Hajime/Oikawa Tooru Angst, Iwaizumi Hajime/Oikawa Tooru Fluff, Jealous Oikawa Tooru, Love Confessions, M/M, Misunderstood Oikawa, Muse song references, Oblivious Iwaizumi, Swearing, Tell him already Oikawa
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-27
Updated: 2017-06-24
Packaged: 2018-11-05 14:40:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 11,897
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11015478
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Neffer_Tari/pseuds/Neffer_Tari
Summary: Oikawa always had trouble with being honest and Iwaizumi had always managed to miss vital subtleties.





	1. On Wednesday

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first take on Iwaoi and I really should be working but I simply cannot resist them. I focused on Oikawa's hidden personality traits because it really is interesting to see him conflicted, not so confident and being misunderstood. I hope they're in character. 
> 
> Disclaimer: Haikyuu doesn't belong to me, only this idea. The lyrics used are from "It Takes a Lot To Know a Man", from Damien Rice.

* * *

 

**.**

_"It takes a lot to know a man_  
_It takes a lot to understand_  
_The warrior, the sage_  
_The little boy enraged"_

.

\- You got it wrong here – Iwaizumi said, pointing out a specific place in Oikawa's notes. – Sensei said to switch these numbers and then start solving it from this point, not that one. See? – he showed the same exercise in his notes to prove his point.

Classes had finished long ago and they were checking the day's notes in the classroom. It was very rare for Oikawa to make a mistake so it was being hard for Iwaizumi to conceal his excitement. However, his blank expression was unreadable. On the other hand, even though Oikawa's was almost as good, in that moment he wasn't making any effort to mask his emotions. With his arms folded on the desk and one hand sustaining his chin, he looked unimpressed and utterly bored. Now that Iwaizumi thought of it, he'd been able to see Oikawa's real emotions without effort for the past few days. Since his childhood friend was such a pretender and had mastered building up illusions around him, it was an odd turn of events. Ignoring what was being displayed in front of him was starting to get harder. Oikawa was more like his true, petulant self in front of others, giving saucy answers without any kind of sugar and not caring about the damage it would cause to his image – _"My beauty is not just a mask and I sound cool either way"_ , he managed to quote Muse and justify his actions at some point yesterday. Iwaizumi wanted to punch him and correctively call him " _Queen of the Superficial_ ", but he was being truthful so he had to resign himself. Furthermore, that also seemed to be a correct assumption because whenever he behaved like that the girls would worry or squeal in delight. Iwaizumi bet that, if they knew how twisted and messed up Oikawa was, they would scream in horror instead.

Whatever.

\- Are you listening?

Oikawa raised his burnt amber eyes. His expression was raw, evaluative and he seemed deeply submerged in thoughts unrelated with calculus.

He was intensely looking at Iwaizumi. The sunset rays were invading the classroom turning his eyes even more green and giving his skin a dangerous tone of dark gold. Oikawa could tell that his stern expression was barely covering the pride he felt for being able to help him correcting a mistake. No matter how pissed off he'd been for the last few weeks (and specially for the last few days), he was never able to miss moments like this.

Moments where Iwaizumi shone on his own.

And it pissed him off even more. He needed to be careful not to notice that (too late) in order to not become jealous (too late) or admire it (too late).

Dammit.

He ended up nodding, focusing on the notebooks.

\- If you scratch this out and then replace this segment for this one then I think it's enough to prevent you from following the mistake while studying.

It was unnerving. How the hell could someone dare to look at Iwaizumi when Oikawa was right by his side? He was extremely good looking, was nice to everyone, had great grades and had a fearsome reputation in the court. Oikawa was the perfect stereotype for any girl to fall in love with. Therefore, he successfully gathered all the attention around him, right? Wasn't he supposed to gather all the attention? He was, because Oikawa was the one on the spotlight. He had always taken it over since it did wonders to his ego and he knew Iwaizumi never felt comfortable with it. Therefore, Iwaizumi should stay in the shadows quietly, safely.

He pursed his lips and cut that chain of thought which was becoming ridiculous. His thoughts were being turned into a soup opera. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath.

\- Oikawa…

He instinctively opened his eyes and looked again at his best friend, sitting in front of him. What was so good about him, anyway? Oikawa used to be smarter than this. Come on, Iwaizumi didn't even know how to sit properly on a chair! He was using it wrong! And he had a voice so deep it was freaking scary. His hair was an ugly, wild mess. His eyebrows were too thick. All of him was unattractive. He was so unattractive it hurt. And scary. Yeah, too scary for girls. And annoying. Madly annoying. Those were facts and it was killing Oikawa's brain to try and understand why would anyone have the nerve to… to… Ugh. Iwaizumi was pissing him off so-damn-much! And thinking of it over and over again made him feel so confused… confused to the point of not paying attention during classes.

He had to ask. He couldn't afford to keep on living like this, it'd make wrinkles appear on his pristine forehead.

He'd go insane at this rate if he didn't ask.

\- What's wrong with-

\- Iwa-chan. – he said, softly even though there was a permanent storm inside of him.

Iwaizumi didn't finish his sentence. Oikawa was calling out to him. Was he in trouble? The rich chocolate in his eyes and the way he sounded certainly hinted that. Iwaizumi felt something inside him clenched as worry started to gather in his brain. Oikawa was an apparently carefree human being, but he knew where he hid all his insecurities, fears and anxieties. If he was calling out to him after having had such a weird behaviour for the past days, then there must be trouble. He braced himself, he had to tiptoe this time.

\- Yeah?

\- Who was that girl?

Iwaizumi frowned.

Girl?

A girl.

Oh.

This is why he feels so often the urge to beat the crap out of Oikawa.

\- Is this why you've been acting shittier than usual? Because of a girl?

Oikawa's gaze didn't waver, which showed he was serious about it. Iwaizumi felt anger former in his stomach. Oikawa's behaviour was proper of someone having serious trouble, not some futile question, and this was why he sometimes hated how stupid he could be for worrying about him. Whenever Iwaizumi started to get worried, Oikawa would always blow it with some bullshit. He'd tease him for it and laugh, saying something like "I'm sorry Iwa-chan" while not feeling sorry at all. Then he'd tease him for having genuinely been worried. During those moments Iwaizumi would hit him in order to release accumulated stress and punish himself for never learning how to not give a fuck about Trashykawa.

\- C'mon Iwa-chan, I want to know who was the girl talking to you on Monday. – Oikawa looked like, depending on Iwaizumi's answer, he'd throw havoc on the school and, later on, on practice.

The sun was giving Oikawa's hair a slightly reddish tone of brown and illuminating his pale skin. He was hypnotizingly looking at Iwaizumi from above, thanks to their sitting positions. It made Oikawa appear to be somewhat regal as that kind of aura which scared the shit out of anyone whenever he got serious about volleyball was oozing out of him at that moment as well.

This was important to him, Iwaizumi concluded. As important as those times while playing volleyball.

Knowing that somewhat made his chest heavy. He sighed, trying to make it lighter.

\- Which one?

_Which one?_ Oikawa wanted to punch him.

\- Tall. Pretty. Glasses. Caramel waves. – it took all of him to not scream each word.

\- Hum, that sounds like Kawai-san. – perfect girls with perfect surnames do exist, huh? Oikawa wanted to throw up. – She's from the Journalism Club. Are you interested in her? What about your girlfriend?

Oikawa wasn't interested.

Oikawa was mad jealous of how openly Iwaizumi had smiled at her.

Thank God for the other boy's lack of brain. He'd not be able to deal with the embarrassment if Iwaizumi discovered his secret. It'd been bad enough to come to terms with the fact that he had fallen head over heels with this scary and ugly idiot. Oikawa had always thought that he was smarter than that, but if he was completely honest to himself (which didn't happen very often) he had to recognize that deep down he had always known. Iwaizumi could be all of the things that Oikawa thought he was (or not), but he also was _his_. That was why it was becoming harder to deal with these unwelcome feelings now that he consciously knew that Iwaizumi was oblivious to it and that there was someone like Oikawa. Someone who probably also noticed everything Iwaizumi did. And it was making it harder to stop himself of always wanting to touch him so that everyone would know how incredibly close they are. It was also harder to not try to catch Iwaizumi's attention (he didn't really try this one to be honest) and it was extremely hard to not be suspicious of any interaction he had with anyone who looked a bit too friendly – which was the case of Pretty-Glasses-Caramel Waves. Who was the one who appeared to suffer of the same illness that had infected Oikawa.

He hated it.

He hated her.

\- I broke up with her last Friday. – he confessed and lied, because it had been more days than that. How was he supposed to kiss someone if he had such a lack of interest for that person? It had been hard enough when he didn't have the desire to jump on Iwaizumi whenever he could.

Now... now it was just impossible.

\- And you're already looking for a new one? How insensitive can you be?

Oikawa glared at him.

He had received his share of insults for that day, even if Iwaizumi wasn't being mean on purpose. That was enough stupidity for one day. He didn't know if he should feel grateful or desperate for Iwaizumi's obliviousness, but he definitely felt frustrated - so, so, so frustrated! So much so he was beginning to want to scream into Iwaizumi's face that he got it all wrong. He wanted to be honest and throw a tantrum of how much he fucking hated him and wanted him all to his fucking self because if anyone ever deserved to have him it was Oikawa and he'd never accept any other outcome.

Never ever in fucking forever.

But the thought of coming clean and being honest was just as scary as it was appealing.

So he decided to angrily grab his stuff.

\- Oikawa!

He decided to leave and go home.

\- Hey, Oikawa!

Damn.

How he wished to be insensitive.

* * *

.


	2. On Monday

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello again! Here's Chap. 2!  
> Please note that:  
> 1 - the difference between the honorifics used is intentional, the girl knows how to be cute when it matters ;) And Oikawa only adds "-chan" to everything that moves.  
> 2 - I'm a sucker for Placebo, so I used "Without You I'm Nothing" lyrics. 
> 
> Thanks for reading and sorry if there's any mistake (point it out to me please).

* * *

**.**

_"Instant correlation sucks and breeds a pack of lies_

_I'll take it by your side"_

_._

Iwaizumi decided to ultimate the details for the interview with the volleyball team to prevent further headaches because Oikawa hadn't been in any condition to do it - he'd even screamed at Iwaizumi's face "I don't care! Go kiss and make out and leave me alone!". However, even though Kawai was a nice person, he was starting to regret his good deed because he was losing all his second morning break. How he wished to be on the rooftop chilling and eating instead of being in the corridor of his year. Well, at least there were windows nearby.

\- Yes, you can count on us for it. When would you like to schedule it?

\- Oh, whenever it suits you, Iwaizumi-senpai. We have enough members at the club so they told me to focus only on this article and take good pictures for the paper.

\- Does next Thursday suit you, then?

\- Of course! – Kawai smiled and her eyes sparkled – At what time?

\- Seven pm?

\- Great.

Iwaizumi smiled, trying to ignore the approaching aura full of bad intentions. As if he'd ever been able to…

\- There you are Iwa-chan~ - Oikawa said cheerfully, tapping his shoulder. It seemed like his prince charming act was all in place to talk with Kawai. Was that the magic of love? To Iwaizumi it only felt like the magic of being annoying. The week before he dashed off the classroom without a word, hit the ball so hard that only six of his services weren't service aces and went home _without_ Iwaizumi for the first time in ages. Now here he is, as if nothing had happened, casually touching him and wanting to be introduced to a girl.

What an opportunist ass.

\- Good timing – he praised, but Oikawa knew exactly the meaning behind of it – Let me introduce you to Kawai-san, from the journalism club. She's going to write that interview about the team, the one I mentioned before.

Lie. He didn't say a thing about it.

Oikawa evaluated the girl, who was slightly shorter than Iwaizumi.

She was ridiculously pretty.

She could even be a model.

That was irritating.

\- Oh, nice to meet you, Kawai-chan! Are you going to be interviewing Iwa-chan? I wish you all the luck, articulation isn't his _forte_.

Kawai graciously smiled and put a lock of hair behind her ear, showing a pearl and a piercing: classy and cool.

\- Not at all Oikawa-san. We've already discussed it, I thought Iwaizumi-senpai had informed you?... – she asked, blinking in a calculated way. Did the little shit think she was enough to take him on a game he created? He looked at Iwaizumi, a question in his smile and a challenge in his eyes.

\- I did, don't you remember Captain? She wants to interview you and Yahaba. Then take three pictures: one of the team, one of you and one of the ace, spiking.

\- Oh I do, I do. – Oikawa said in an act of recognition that could easily win a prize. Then he waved his hand as to dismiss the matter – Sorry Kawai-chan, Iwa-chan had indeed briefed me but when you're busy you tend to forget the least important things.

\- I completely understand, Oikawa-san – she agreed, without taking the easy bait. – Do you have any question you'd like to ask before the interview's date?

\- Hummm… do you think everyone's going to want to see the article if there's _someone_ ugly in the pictures?

Iwaizumi controlled his desire of punching him in the face so that he'd become the ugly one.

\- Of course! Both of your pictures are going to be bigger than the other one, so everyone is going to be focusing on you, don't worry. And I bet Iwaizumi-senpai's fierce gaze is going to captivate even more student to attend the matches!

The temperature seemed to drop around them. Kawai ignored it.

\- You're exaggerating, Kawai-san.

\- I'm certainly not, or do you think your Captain is the only one with a fan club?

Iwaizumi froze and blushed discreetly.

 _Your Captain?_ His Captain. It had a weird ring to it, different than "the team's Captain", even though it was what she meant. He looked up at Oikawa. His Captain.

Oikawa froze and frowned.

How come he's not the only one with a fan club? Does anyone really feel attracted to this gloomy, unfashionable tower? What was so special about him? He felt outraged and looked down at Iwaizumi to check it. Their eyes locked and Oikawa was trapped in Iwaizumi's gaze which almost always saw through his _façade_. Those incredible, powerful and honest green eyes were intently looking at him. Oikawa blushed. That had been a bad idea. He needed coverage. He was tired of knowing how unattractive Iwa-chan was.

\- What are you saying Kawai-chan? – he laughed at the good joke – Iwa-chan is always scaring and driving the cute girls away from me, there's no way they can like him.

Iwaizumi hit him. This time he couldn't control it. Oikawa definitely made him sound like a jealous teammate!

He hit him again out of frustration.

\- Ow, stop being mean and face reality Iwa-chan!

Kawai laughed again. They had a great interaction.

\- Well, I do. – they looked at her incredulously at the same time as the bell rang – Gotta go, see you on Thursday!

They didn't reply to her goodbye. They stood there, unmoving, processing what had happened. Iwaizumi was the first one to react, taking a hand to massage his neck. This was going to be a real pain.

He glanced at Oikawa.

He was paler than usual, his mouth slightly parted, still looking at the point where Kawai disappeared from their camp of view. Confusion and surprise still lingered in his expression. He was somewhat attractive, Iwaizumi noticed, with horror, and there he was again, taking pleasure in seeing a side of Oikawa that nobody else was allowed to see. It was no secret that Oikawa Tooru was good looking, but this... it was different. It was special. Raw emotion always made him look livelier than all the fake sheer he usually displayed. Shame, embarrassment, anger, real happiness, frustration, irritation, distress… it all made Oikawa look so much more attractive than he already was… and Iwaizumi was the only lucky person who had always been able to see all of it. To see him for who he really was. It satisfied him, but it also made him want more.

It scared him.

\- Let's go. – he said, to deviate from that line of thought. What Kawai said must have been a blow to Oikawa's ego. He didn't want his friend to be in a worse mood than the one that was starting to become usual.

\- She likes you… – Oikawa mumbled. That girl actually had the guts to spill it into Iwaizumi's face, in front of Oikawa.

She liked him.

She was going to try and snatch him.

He felt panic trying to tickle him. What was he supposed to do? What could he do? He was already present as much as he could in Iwa-chan's life, he already grabbed all the attention he could, he always tried to look appealing to him, he touched him… he did every single thing he could for Iwa-chan to notice him, he always had done so, and he never, ever looked at Oikawa that way. Never.

He looked at his friend as cold realization frightened him.

They were going to start dating.

He was going to lose him.

\- She likes you. – he repeated.

Iwaizumi loved seeing true emotion on Oikawa's features, but he didn't like seeing him suffer.

\- She didn't mean it. – he tried, and actually believed it – C'mon, you know you can charm her any time.

"THAT'S NOT THE MATTER, YOU FUCKING MORON" Oikawa wanted to scream.

Instead, he lowered his head and bit his lip.

Iwaizumi was going to get a girlfriend and leave him all alone. Oikawa never considered until this moment how the other may have felt when he was the one with a girlfriend, even thought they had dated for only one month. During that time, Iwaizumi never complained for his absence, actually telling him he was thankful for the time he got for himself. Iwaizumi never showed jealously when he told him all about their dates. At the most, he was annoyed. Iwaizumi never even asked why they split up.

He didn't care.

A scarier thought than Iwaizumi getting a girlfriend bubbled in his brain.

Did he only tolerate Oikawa?

Or had he always done an effort to put up with him?

Were they really friends?

Does Iwaizumi even like, even if it's just a little bit?

\- Do you like me? – he said aloud.

Iwaizumi frowned. Damn, was he going to be late for class just because Oikawa wanted to make sure he wasn't going to get in the way of his new romance? How selfish could this brat be? Did he really like Kawai that much?

His expression seemed to tell him so and that made Iwaizumi slightly angry. He scoffed.

\- No.

Oikawa felt the force leave his legs but he stood his ground, managed to playfully (but weakly) hit Iwaizumi in the arm as if reprimanding him, and forced his limbs to march back to the classroom. He knew it. His eyes became watery as he walked and he hid them under his fringe. He'd done everything he could. He'd tried his hardest in order for Iwaizumi to see in him at least a little bit of what he saw in the other. However, everything that he saw in Iwaizumi was genuine, deep, mysterious, righteous and fierce. On the contrary, everything he tried to show was fake, fabricated and easily shattered. Deep down, all he had was the ugliness of a cunning man. Someone as pure as Iwaizumi would never fall for him, right? He knew it.

.

_I'm unclean, a libertine_

_And every time you vent your spleen_

_I seem to lose the power of speech_

_You're slipping slowly from my reach_

_You grow me like an evergreen_

_You've never seen the lonely me at all_

* * *

_._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tsk, tsk, Tooru and his dumb insecurities. Just be yourself already!  
> I'd like to thank those who showed me their appreciation so far, it really motivates me. Let me know if you enjoyed this one too! Oh, and brace yourselves for embarrassed Oikawa because he's coming next Thursday.


	3. On Thursday

* * *

 .

Iwaizumi was dangerously close to giving up on Oikawa out of nerve killing frustration. Oikawa had always been difficult and an insufferable idiot, but Iwaizumi had _always_ known _why_. This time it was different. For the first time he didn’t understand what the hell was going on. He tried to ask, he pestered him about it and almost gave into the temptation of having a dead serious conversation, but managed to escape its embarrassment at the last minute. There was nothing more dreadful than a serious conversation with dramatic, sensitive, exaggerated and crazed Oikawa. Iwaizumi would only go down that road if it was a matter of life or death, such as when Oikawa feels insecure and preaches his ugliness and unworthiness as universal truths.

Those were lies, and Iwaizumi had the obligation to show him the truth.

To show Oikawa how… unique he was took all of Iwaizumi because it made him very conscious of all Oikawa Tooru’s deeds and positive traits, which magnitude always crushed Iwaizumi.

He liked to see Oikawa full of emotion and truthfulness, but he didn’t like to see him consumed by and lost in it, especially if that happened because of wrong assumptions and delusions that he was master at coming up with.

At first, he thought that this situation had nothing similar with “dead serious talk” situations, but his intuition was starting to seriously bother him to the point where he could not ignore it so swiftly anymore.

Oikawa avoided talking about it like a professional, always dismissing him pleasantly while others were watching and, when they weren’t, he just gave him a spiteful look, or turned his face away while pouting.

Also, his reactions were reversed: he didn’t try to catch Iwaizumi's attention or mock him theatrically when there was an audience avid for it and he didn’t make himself noticeable when they were alone. Instead, he dismissed him as quickly as he could or ran away from any kind of confrontation. It was unnatural and it scared the shit out of Iwaizumi because a single crush on an irrelevant girl had never changed Oikawa this much. Knowing this one had so much power made him tremendously uncomfortable. He didn’t want Oikawa to lose himself thanks to a faceless girl or _any girl_.

At some point, he started wondering about it, though.

If that was it, then Oikawa would usually try to charm her until his heart’s content, promoting “unplanned” meetings and chit-chat. He would be smiling and gathering up information on her with all the discretion possible so that no fans would be sad. And Iwaizumi had to be honest about it: there was no way a girl could resist a guy like Oikawa. Not only was he attractive, but he had all the other qualities and, deep down, was a good person (really, really deep down).

If Oikawa wasn’t putting on practise his usual heart conqueror’s plan and dead serious conversation situations never occurred because of a girl… Could it really be about it?

Was Iwaizumi seeing the big picture or was something missing?

There was only one way to be sure of it and he was going to take care of it as soon as possible. That’s why he arrived slightly earlier at practice and ambushed Matsukawa and Hanamaki, the ones in charge of preparing the court that day. He walked towards his friends while they were putting up the volleyball’s net in the gymnasium.

\- Oi, have you seen Oikawa?

Makki eyed him quietly but his expression was bathed in suspiciousness. Iwaizumi asking that as soon as he arrived at the gymnasium… was there trouble in paradise? Mattsun seemed to be reading his thoughts because his twisted smile indicated that he also found the situation very fishy.

\- No…

\- … Should we?

\- It’s cool. Just wanted to warn you before she arrived. – he spoke casually as he released the bait. – Trashykawa’s current crush is coming to our practise today. She’s going to do an interview and take some pics.

Mattsun whistled playfully at the dangerous news.

\- Oikawa’s crush?

Makki’s eyebrows were raised to the skies.

\- Did he break up with Sumire-chan?

Shit. They didn’t know anything, which meant Iwaizumi needed to find an excuse to get out of there before they would start enquiring him.

\- Ah, yeah, but don’t mention that. I’m going to change, see you in a minute.

\- Secret is safe.

\- See ya.

He entered the balneary and put down his stuff as he lost himself in thought. This was serious. Oikawa not only hadn’t bragged about how pretty his crush was and how hard she’d fall for him in no time, but he hadn’t even actually told his others friends he was no longer in a relationship. Now that Iwaizumi thought of it, he didn’t even came up with a stupid name for Kawai, something ridiculous as usual, like "Caramel-chan".

Dammit.

Did that mean he fucked up the other day?

Had he done it more than one time?

Was Oikawa in real trouble?

Iwaizumi didn’t have time to mentally and thoroughly search their recent past life for something that could indicate it, but he was aware that there was nothing imminently alarming and they hadn’t seen Ushijima or Kageyama in a while. He frowned as the team started to arrive and greeted him.

This was it. Apparently, there was no other choice, he decided.

Iwaizumi was going to corner Oikawa later in that evening, after practise.

Practice went surprisingly well. The boys were motivated by being featured in an article and Kawai took pictures discreetly, without causing any unnecessary commotion. She sheered and smiled, impressed, whenever there was a good combination of tactics and kept on gathering information from their coach whenever he gave her the ok to do so. Now and then someone would get distracted by her presence but Oikawa quickly drove his attention back to the game – _“Kindaichi I’m your fabulous Captain, if you want to get distracted look at me!”_ , _“Watachi if you mess it up I’m going to punish you later!~”_.

However, Iwaizumi noticed, Oikawa didn’t even glance at her once. He was completely focused, as usual, on training and giving little pieces of advice to his teammates, who eagerly heard and thanked him for it. This made Iwaizumi feel compelled to check on him more times than usual. He served flawlessly, tossed with scary precision and encouraged when someone made a mistake. He kindly smiled to his teammates and congratulated them like no one else. He was a child full of enthusiasm when a new achievement was unlocked and a focused young man, well aware of the worth of his team and what needed to be done in order to polish them to perfection. How could someone who behaved like this in court be such a whiny sly bastard outside of it had always been a mystery to Iwaizumi. Though, in part, it was also what made Oikawa so interesting.

When he wanted to, Oikawa could be really endearing.

Thinking about it made Iwaizumi slam the ball with his maximum strength.

\- Waa, that’s our ace, Iwa-chan!

When the time for the interview arrived, Oikawa kept on surprising Iwaizumi. He and Kawai were sharing a bench with the couch and the rest of the team was sitting on the floor, listening to the interview attentively. During the conversation, Oikawa didn’t flirt at all with her, keeping his focus on his teammates and their qualities, as well as some aspects they were working on improving for future games. He answered all the questions professionally and politely. There was a discreet smile on his lips that showed how much he loved volleyball and how very proud he was of his team. Simple as that. _Honest like that._

Iwaizumi’s heart involuntarily skipped a beat. Fuck.

\- Ok, we’re only missing a few words about the ace and then I have everything I need so we can move on to take the group picture. – Kawai said, checking the last item of her bullet points while holding the recorder on the other hand. Oikawa blinked and looked at her as everyone looked at him with expectation.

\- Such as?

\- Something on the lines of what you said about Yahaba-san, perhaps?

\- Oh… - he had praised Yahaba in a way he could never praise Iwaizumi without dying from embarrassment. It would require all of his strength to fight the urge to run from the situation with a joke. He could not simply tell a joke about this, it was going to be featured in an interview. And his vice-Captain, his ace, his best friend… Iwaizumi certainly deserved that he told the truth.

Oikawa stretched out his legs and held the bench, breathing in deeply. Even if Iwaizumi didn’t like him, that didn’t erase everything that he’d done for Oikawa. And knowing how transparent Iwaizumi was, it was hard to believe that he did all of it without liking Oikawa. Hearing him saying that he didn’t like him was an incredibly hard blow to his soul, but he decided to give it space and time. He’d remove himself from Iwaizumi’s life until he wanted him back or at least wanted to understand what happened.

Iwaizumi had done that in less than 24 hours and since then had been pestering him but Oikawa just couldn't come clean about it. He couldn’t say _“Hey, Iwa-chan, I’m behaving like a girl because I have a curse which is loving you and you don’t even look at me that way and on top of it said you don’t like me, which I already knew and was stupid enough to confirm. So I decided to cut our interaction to the minimum because I’m a mess and don’t know what the fuck I should do and would give everything to go back in time and prevent my big mouth from confusing your stupid little brain. Bye”._

He definitely wouldn’t say it.

\- So?... – Kawai insisted, bringing him back to reality.

What could he say? He blinked and searched for Iwaizumi’s eyes. There he was. His green eyes held an apprehensive expression and he seemed insecure. Noticing that, Oikawa hated his own stupidity and selfishness. Of course, he wouldn’t say that, but that wasn’t the only truth he knew. He could say another one, even if it cost him a bit of his pride and ate away part of his heart.

He was looking at the person who had always been by his side.

The one who knew all of him and still managed to stay close to him.

To support him. To make him shine.

Iwa-chan meant everything to him. How could he even begin to describe his importance in his life?

\- I can’t describe how important Iwa-chan is. - he mumbled, absent mindedly.

Shit. He questioned himself if he had really said it out loud as he was pulled from his trance, induced by Iwaizumi’s gaze. Oh my God he did. He just did! Realizing it made his ears become red and a blush graced his cheeks. He gasped incredulously, immediately breaking the eye contact and turning his head to Kawai too fast and too embarrassed to even think about anything coherently. He wanted to die. He was going to die.

No, he was going to breath.

Breath and calm down!

Stop that racing heart, use that calculist brain.

What now?

Kawai was aware of his panic moment and couldn’t resist exploring it.

\- Could you please try to elaborate?

Looking at the pretty girl made his flush subside. Kawai could be tall, pretty, have caramel waves and use glasses. But she was a thousand years early to even come close to Iwaizumi's attractiveness and magnetism. She wasn’t Iwaizumi, so she couldn’t blow his reasoning away. She wasn’t Iwaizumi, so he could regain a hold of himself. A clear thought was formed.

She wasn’t Iwaizumi, and Oikawa wasn’t a pawn to be toyed with.

He was the Great King.

He opened his mouth and felt the air toy with his tongue. There was no way he could confess all of his feelings for Iwaizumi, but there was something he was able to say even if it would sound a little embarrassing.

After all, it was a simple question with an obvious answer.

\- How important is the ace to his team? I’d say rather essential. – he said, honesty bathing his expression. – It’s true that I’m able to hold the team together and push us all forward, but nothing of it could happen without Iwa-chan. The team has me to take care of them, and I have my vice-Captain to take care of me. – He added. Then, he turned to face his team and seek reassurance in those strong, breath-taking eyes. – He’s the one who calls us all back to reason when we’re lost, right Iwa-chan?

Iwaizumi felt his mouth hang open. As he heard everyone agreeing and cheering at him and Oikawa, he felt his reasoning being eaten away. When Mattsun and Makki playfully hit him, praising his good work, all he could see was Oikawa’s fond smile. And when they took the group picture for the journal, all he could feel was Oikawa beside him, with one arm around his shoulders while holding the ball with the other.

All he saw, smelled and felt was Oikawa.

All he admired, yearned for and needed was Oikawa.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sooo... this was supposed to be the last chapter but I decided to add more two.  
> 


	4. On Thursday Night

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I give up, I wrote this so many times and in the end it just got massive. I guess I can't impose any limits to myself because I end up breaking them, huh? So here you have half of the supposed forth chapter, which means this is going to have 6 chapters instead of 5. Hope you enjoy it!

* * *

.

\- Where do you think you’re going?

Busted. Oikawa clicked his tongue instead of cursing and raised his head. Where had his plan failed? After the practise and the interview, he had thanked and bid farewell to Kawai and was the first team member to reach the balneary. He took a shower as fast as humanly possible and sneaked out while everyone was still talking about the day’s events. He had been successful until the very last moment and he really believed that he’d manage to get out unnoticed.

He should have known better.

Iwaizumi was barring the gymnasium door with his arms crossed and his face had the dangerous punk expression that he put on whenever he caught up Oikawa fooling around. He looked like a yakuza heir. That damned expression had always given Oikawa the creeps. He tried to smile innocently but his discomfort and annoyance were palpable.

\- Home?

\- Great, let’s go then. And don’t you _dare_ open your mouth to protest.

Dammit. Their faces were so close and Iwaizumi’s silent threat was so powerful that Oikawa ended up giving in without a word. He only gulped, pouted and walked home by his friend’s side. He decided that the best strategy was to glue his gaze to the floor and pray that their trip would end as soon as possible. Oikawa was so terrified of all the things that Iwaizumi could come up with and use to corner him that he forbade himself of overthinking, forcing his mind to go blank. That went well during the first four minutes of walking, until a phrase broke through his rather weak concentration due to the circumstances and echoed all over his brain: _“I can’t describe how important is Iwa-chan”_. Iwaizumi’s look and expression at that moment were engraved in his heart. He could swear that those green eyes had shown brighter for a second but he had lost his composure soon after and his brain stopped functioning. All he saw was Iwaizumi and it felt so intimate that it made him want to regain hope and express his foolish love as openly as he’d always done. Thinking about it made Oikawa's blush come to the surface again and he thanked for the shielding darkness that covered it up.

They walked without speaking to each other until they reach the park at the beginning of the street where they lived. There Iwaizumi grabbed Oikawa’s arm and looked up at him. Determination swirled in his night green eyes.

\- We need to talk.

Oikawa was surprised with the sudden movement and feeling Iwaizumi’s touch made him blush even more. Iwaizumi couldn’t see clearly in the dark ambience, but he knew all of Oikawa’s features by heart so he was aware of his beauty at the moment. It was a different kind of beauty from the one he had displayed sooner that evening. This was the kind of beauty that Oikawa only showed to Iwaizumi because Iwaizumi was the only one able to invoke it.

\- A-about what?

\- You.

\- I’m fine. – He tried to dismiss the matter.

\- Don’t lie to me, Oikawa.

\- I’m not… - he stopped mid-sentence. His bad habit of wearing a mask was forcing its way through but they were alone now. Iwaizumi didn’t deserve lies. He felt remorse bubbling in his gut and showing alongside fear on his unmasked expression. Was this it? Did he have to come clean?

Iwaizumi’s touch softened when he saw fear in Oikawa’s eyes. He wanted to purge it away but he wouldn’t be able to do so unless he knew the cause of it. He softened his tone of voice.

\- Tell me what’s been bothering you?...

There it was.

Oikawa shivered with the depth of Iwaizumi's voice and almost lost himself. He was drowning in Iwaizumi’s magnetism as panic crept inside him. An urge to run away tingled his toes, but he was cornered and chained.

That was the question that he dreaded the most and had done all within his power to avoid.

Iwaizumi’s plea and need to know made his heart clench and he realized that no matter whatever he’d done to try to cover it, he’d always fail spectacularly on the job of trying to hide something from Iwaizumi. Oikawa felt uneasy and cornered like a small cat. His brown eyes were glowing in the dark as he took in the image of Iwaizumi, who was expecting an answer, nervous and anxious to know if his best friend would trust him enough to tell him what he wouldn’t tell (what he wouldn’t even show) to anyone else.

Oikawa couldn’t do it.

He couldn’t tell him the truth but he also couldn’t tell him a lie.

How could Oikawa be truthful without revealing it all?

He had to think carefully and choose his words as if his life depended on it. Iwaizumi needed to know what had been bothering him, or at least part of it. Searching for answers in the past few days was a tough exercise because the weight of what had happened emerged and was trying to crush him.

He needed to tell Iwaizumi what had hurt him the most.

What was the answer?

The envy and jealously he felt whenever someone would be all over Iwaizumi?

The frustration of doing everything for his attention and still be nothing more than plain and old Oikawa?

The fear of losing him to someone else?

The desperation of always being misunderstood?

\- I… I… – his voice failed and Iwaizumi saw all the piled-up emotions in those beautiful brown eyes. God, how he wanted to rip that pain away. He came closer to Oikawa and let his hand slide down, entwining it with his friend’s. Oikawa’s bottom lip trembled and a small, sad pout was born. Being so close made Iwaizumi’s heart burst out with built up tension and emotion. Those feelings had manifested so suddenly and so strongly that Iwaizumi almost jumped with surprised. He knew they lived within him dormant and latent, but recently they’ve manifested themselves strongly when he least expected it. Touching Oikawa didn’t help subside them at all. On the contrary, it made them gloriously erupt out and burn every fibre of him.

His free hand tingled and ached to touch Oikawa’s cheek but he fought the impulse. He needed to focus. Now was not the time to dive into his feelings and go crazy with Oikawa’s beauty and presence. There was always something about him, about his very essence and soul, that Iwaizumi wanted to grab, cherish and protect Oikawa. It made him feel a deep, embarrassing and foreign sensation of love.

\- I’m here. – he squeezed his hand.

Iwaizumi’s warmth was everything that Oikawa needed. Being so close to him, _that close to him_ , made Oikawa believe that he would really be able to say anything he wanted. Iwaizumi’s magic was so precious… Iwaizumi was so, so damn precious… Being allowed to touch him like this was a blessing and a curse. He felt so happy and so sad at the same time.

His eyes stung.

What had hurt him the most?

\- I… I was rejected Iwa-chan – he breathed out, chokingly. He tried to smile but his eyebrows furrowed and Iwaizumi could clearly notice all the hurt he bare in his heart. Oikawa was powerful, but also delicate. He could be a master at pretending but his over sensitiveness always got the best of him. Iwaizumi squeezed his hand with more strength. He didn’t think about the fact that this was probably the very first time that Oikawa had been rejected and that it might hurt his ego. Seeing Oikawa’s expression and how damaged he was made Iwaizumi incapable of thinking that way. He could only be astonished by how much Oikawa liked the person in question and impressed with the fact that someone would actually not want a human being as amazing as Oikawa by their side.

\- Are you sure? – he asked softly.

A flash of memories passed by Oikawa’s deliciously brown eyes and he sniffed. He didn’t trust his voice enough so he just nodded.

Iwaizumi wanted to prevent Oikawa from breaking, yell at the enormous dumb-ass that did it to him and thank her at the same time for not taking him away.

\- If Kawai can’t…

\- No. – he interrupted.

\- Huh?

\- I-it’s not… her.

Iwaizumi’s eyes widened. How come it wasn't her? Was there someone else? Where? He hadn’t seen Oikawa falling and fawning all over anyone else. Actually, he didn’t even do it with her. He didn’t flirt with her at all. Iwaizumi thought hard about it but no one’s face popped into his mind. There was no one new in Oikawa’s life that he knew of. It intrigued him.

\- Then who?

Oikawa shivered with fear and shook his head vehemently, looking away. How could he explain it?

The desperation of that gesture boosted Iwaizumi’s curiosity. At the same time, knowing that Oikawa liked someone so much, that it all had happened under his nose and he had never noticed it, was leaving sour taste in his tongue. He needed time to think and to calm himself but first he needed to know.

Iwaizumi let go of Oikawa’s hand and raised his arms to cope Oikawa’s face, obliging him to look Iwaizumi in the eyes. He couldn’t resist it this time and ended up caressing his cheek with his thumb. Then he let his head fall a bit to one side so that he could see Oikawa better.

\- Can’t you tell me?

Oikawa was in a daze. He couldn’t think clearly anymore but he was dead set on not confessing. He wouldn’t destroy what they had and wouldn’t give in to Iwaizumi. All he could do was cherish and be thankful for what the other was able to give him, even if it wasn’t love. It didn’t matter how wildly the words seemed to be gaining life and wanted to come out from his lips due to that warm touch on his cold cheeks. It didn’t matter that he sought release from those piled up feelings and wished to cry his heart out on Iwaizumi’s arms as he’d done before, when he felt crushed by the circumstances.

All that mattered was Iwaizumi.

Oikawa grabbed his best friend’s wrists to prevent him from getting lost in those eyes and leaning in unconsciously. He bit his lips and felt the tears come back again. He was going to overflow.

\- I- I can’t, Iwa-chan…

Something broke inside Iwaizumi. Oikawa didn’t trust him enough. He wouldn’t be able to reach him and hold him this time. For the first time, there was a wall between them. A huge, massive wall with an unknown name of someone who didn’t even have feelings for Oikawa. A person who only hurt him and made him push Iwaizumi away.

Oikawa saw Iwaizumi’s expression twist as betrayal and sorrow danced within of him. His hands fell of his face and Oikawa let go of those wrists. For a brief moment, he felt somewhat relieved for his empty freedom, until he saw that there wasn’t fire in Iwaizumi’s eyes, only rock-hard darkness.

\- Okay. – he said emotionlessly – Sorry for asking.

\- Iwa-chan…

Iwaizumi was misunderstanding the situation again, because he couldn’t tell him straight what the truth was.

\- I won’t be bothering you again.

\- Iwa-chan that’s not…

\- That’s not it? – Iwaizumi snapped and lost his temper with a small bitter laugh.  – That’s not it!? – he repeated and raised his voice – Then _what_ is it?! – he barked and Oikawa made an involuntary protective shrug due to the outburst. – Why won’t you tell me, huh? Don’t you trust me? Am I not your best friend? Haven’t I been the one who’s been always there for you?

He was so fucking tired of seeing Oikawa pushing him away and behaving like a stranger. He hated it but most of all he hated not knowing the cause of it. What the hell had changed between them? When had it changed? Why didn’t he notice it? Why couldn’t he fix things as he’s always been able to?

Why?

\- Iwa-chan…

\- All these years, there’s never been a fucking secret between us! Why can’t you trust me this time? What have I done wrong?

\- Iwa-chan! – Oikawa scoffed, honestly outraged. Iwaizumi was doubting _everything!_

\- Answer me, dammit! – he grabbed and pulled the collar of Oikawa’s Aoba Johsai’s jersey, dragging him close again, and screamed into his face – Who the hell am I to you?!

* * *

.


	5. With Iwaizumi

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was proudly inspired by Haikyuu's amazing OST. Go for it Oikawa! Fight!

* * *

.

\- Answer me, dammit! – he grabbed and pulled the collars of Oikawa’s Aoba Johsai’s jersey, dragging him close again and screaming into his face – Who the hell am I to you?!

Oikawa closed his eyes and tried to free himself, shocked with Iwaizumi’s desperate reaction. Who was Iwaizumi to him? How could he even ask that? How dared he to doubt?

\- Stop yelling Iwa-chan! Are you listening to yourself?!

Iwaizumi was furious and pulled Oikawa even closer as he fought hard against the urge of hitting his face. He had forgotten why they were there in the first place and he didn’t remember why this all started. His thoughts of helping and supporting Oikawa were gone. His desire of shielding him once again had been denied. All he could see was red and a turmoil of questions had risen in his heart out of nowhere thanks to Oikawa’s simple words and _honest reactions_. If someone said to him that he’d ever reach the point where he’d question everything, he’d have laughed and dismissed it because there was nothing that could ever come between him and Oikawa. Nothing, except Oikawa himself. And the realization of that simple fact made him feel so lost it was terrifying. He’d never dreamt of Oikawa saying those words and having that kind of reactions _against_ him. He’d never dreamt of being the one cornering Oikawa like this, forcing him to tell something that, despite the fact that was vital to Iwaizumi, made him feel so distressed, lost and hurt.

That rage in those chocolate eyes… he was the cause of it.

Imaizumi stopped his rampage right there and then. All the emotions running wildly in Oikawa’s blood were clearly reflected in his eyes. They were there because Iwaizumi had inflicted them, the same way as Oikawa had filled Iwaizumi with doubt, fear, betrayal, desperation for the truth and fury.

He wanted to punch him.

He wanted to kiss him.

Iwaizumi took a deep breath to calm himself. What did he have to lose now? Oikawa didn’t trust him enough to spill the beans and he had blown up his plan to help him. He’d lost his temper and acted improperly while facing a friend in need. Therefore, if he’d stooped so low, he could also go all out and kiss those trembling and tempting lips. He could crush Oikawa’s body against him and banish all the outrage and anger with that gesture. Yes, Iwaizumi could do it… if what he felt for Oikawa was just a simple attraction. However, he felt so much more than that… Seeing Oikawa that way, so raw and dishevelled, defensive and angry hurt even more Iwaizumi. He felt ashamed of his behaviour because his need to know shouldn’t have made him cross all the limits.

Iwaizumi clicked his tongue as he shoved Oikawa away without physically hurting him.

Inspecting his friend carefully and waiting to see if he’d cool down, Oikawa was breathing heavily, trying to figure a way out of this mess without giving in to anger. He hadn’t lied but it was pretty damn clear that Iwaizumi hadn’t appreciated his effort. He had to find a way to give him a proper answer to subside his fury and clarify the misunderstanding but he simply couldn’t remember of anything because they were maddeningly close to each other and there was too much heated energy surrounding them.

After a moment, Iwaizumi concluded that he didn’t want to look at Oikawa’s pretty face any longer. That boy had always managed to make him break boundaries. He felt ugly because he had been disrespectful and forceful. All the frustration and wrath had taken their toll on him and now he just felt miserable, but still full of raged power. He had reached his limits.

That was enough.

He couldn’t take the lack of an answer anymore.

He just wanted to disappear. He needed to go home, shut himself in his room and hit the wall until his knuckles bled.

He had hit rock-bottom.

\- Forget it, I’m done. – he said and passed by Oikawa, who was too dumbstruck to react (Forget? How come?). After a few steps, he raised his head and spoke in slightly higher tone, so that Oikawa could listen. – Don’t worry, I won’t pry again into your precious private life.

What? Oikawa turned and saw Iwaizumi’s wide back as he walked away.

\- Iwa-chan! – he called.

He was ignored.

\- Iwa-chan! – he demanded.

Iwaizumi stopped and turned. There was no light nor emotion in him.

\- You don’t get to call me that if I’m not good enough to deserve an explanation. Bye.

Iwaizumi began his walk again and each step was crushing him. His vision was blurry and he ignored Oikawa’s desperate calls – _“Iwa-chan please don’t go! Iwa-chan!”_.

He felt so heavy it hurt to breathe.

Oikawa looked at Iwaizumi as the distance between them grew. An unknown truth that had become vital to Iwaizumi because it symbolized the purity and strength of their relationship. Nothing that he’d say or do would stop Iwaizumi, unless he told the truth. Without it, only lies and emptiness would remain in a dirty and forsaken place. Oikawa bit his bottom lip hard enough to almost make it bleed. He hated it. He hated and despised it. Blind trust wasn’t enough anymore for Iwaizumi but if Oikawa was in his shoes he’d follow the other blindly. Wouldn’t he? If Iwaizumi hid something as important as what he was hiding… would he really turn a blind eye to it? Or would he end up giving up because, despite all his efforts, he wouldn’t be able to reach Iwaizumi? He furrowed his brow as his will cracked. Of course he wouldn’t be able to do it… of course he wouldn’t be able to deal with it. He’d do just what Iwaizumi was doing… he’d gather all that hadn’t been smashed by the other boy and would be determined to desolately walk away and sever their ties. That would cause such an excruciating pain… To give up on their relationship because the person he loved had tied him down and put limits to his ability of supporting him… It just hurt.

It hurt Iwaizumi so much that Oikawa could see it in every step he was giving as he walked away.

Was it worth it?

What would he prefer?

Save himself and guarantee his secret or take that unbearable burden from Iwaizumi’s shoulders?

Hurt himself or heal Iwaizumi?

Lose him or destroy him?

\- Tsk.

The answer was so obvious it stung.

He’d always choose Iwaizumi.

He gave his first steps insecurely. Oikawa had been trying to achieve the truth for the past few days. He wanted the truth. Iwaizumi was the truth. What was there to hesitate? He didn’t want to experience life in a grey comfort zone without the energy, friendship and beauty of Iwaizumi. He didn’t want to become a better person without him by his side. Heck, he didn’t even want to win if he wasn’t by his side.

He walked more vehemently now.

Oikawa wanted Iwaizumi. However, he didn’t remember to have ever done something straightforward about it. He had always been too scared and insecure: scared of losing him, afraid that he wasn’t good enough for him. He had to see Iwaizumi suffering that much in order to act. Damn… he really was Trashkawa, huh? But he was ready. He wanted to try. It was time for him to grow up and fight for it, instead of putting a hand over his eyes. It was time to grab his feelings and toss them to Iwaizumi. If he ruled the court he could also rule his life. His worst enemy wasn’t Iwaizumi, it was himself.

It was time to confront and surpass the King.

Oikawa didn’t notice when he started running, chasing clumsily Iwaizumi as if his life depended on it. He had been drowning in fear until the moment, but now he only wanted to share his truth. He’d found his answer, there was no turning back now. This was all in. He kept on running with the certainty of being capable of catching up with Iwaizumi and serve him his truth.

Oikawa ran like a shadow and caught his prey like a lion. Iwaizumi didn’t notice the silent predator coming but he was stopped by his Captain, who put an arm around his shoulders and pulled him to his embrace. Iwaizumi gasped in surprise and tried to free himself without success. Then Oikawa covered his eyes with the other arm, noticing they were moist.

\- What the fuck, let me go!

\- No.

\- I said let go, damned Crappykawa!!

\- Crappykawa’s gone. – Oikawa breathed against his neck as he sought solace. He was trying to find the right words to say or the ones that Iwaizumi would like to hear, but all that came out of his mouth corresponded to the feelings in his heart that were threatening to waver. – I’m sorry, Iwa-chan. I’m so, so sorry for deserving the crown of the biggest idiot! Please forgive me. Forgive me for having been afraid of telling you the truth. I was willing to keep it from you because I don’t know what will happen once you know it and I don’t want to lose you but… but if this is the outcome… I’d rather burn and lose than seeing Iwa-chan like this so…

Iwaizumi felt Oikawa gulp and burry his head more into his neck curve, provoking a shiver.

Oikawa braced himself and tossed a silently breath which carried his heart:

\- It’s Hajime. My truth is Hajime.

\- Wha-…

\- I love you, Hajime. Please forgive my selfishness and desperation to keep it a secret. I never planned for it to happen and when I realized it I panicked. I was so terrified it was pathetic… I didn’t know what the hell was I supposed to do! You’ve never gave me any signal, you never faltered as well and… and, damn, you misunderstood everything Iwa-chan! – he hugged Iwaizumi more, almost crushing him. – It was so frustrating! But… but I also wasn’t brave enough to be honest and tell you. I’m sorry. I’m sorry and I love you. There, I’ve said it.

After giving a few seconds for it to sink in, he gently and slowly freed Iwaizumi. Now all that was left was to wait. Oikawa was crazy anxious to see Iwaizumi’s reaction but decided to give him privacy and let him decide when he wanted to face him.

The moments passed and Oikawa was somewhat shocked to discover that he wasn’t afraid of rejection or felt pressured. On the contrary, he felt relieved and curious. Nonetheless, a part of him was also feeling guilty because if he hadn’t been such a messy and sensitive coward, he wouldn’t have hurt Iwaizumi.

\- I really am sorry for all of it.

Iwaizumi raised his head and turned, facing him straight on. He had a dead serious expression on his face and Oikawa was so focused searching for the eventual trails of tears in his eyes that he didn’t see his fist, which connected amazingly with his face. The force of impact made his head turn to the side with a harshly quick movement. The pain of the hit burnt his cheek and he tasted the iron of his own blood in his tongue.

His heart sank even though he already knew Iwaizumi’s answer and he refused to face him again. He refused, but Iwaizumi got closer and grabbed Oikawa’s jaw between his right hand, forcing him to look him in the eye and pressuring the place where he’d hit on purpose.

\- I wish I could hit you more. – he spit out.

\- I deserve it. – Oikawa managed to say in a weird and altered tone of voice due to the way Iwaizumi was holding him.

\- I fucking hate Crappykawa. And Shittykawa.

\- I know.

He knew, so he shouldn’t be feeling that overwhelming sadness.

\- But I like Oikawa.

What? Oikawa frowned.

Iwaizumi breathed in.

\- And I love Tooru.

Oikawa’s eyes widened in surprise. Was he hallucinating?

\- What? – he protested. – You said you didn’t like me!

\- And how many times have I said that before, dumbass?

Oikawa pouted and, in that situation, with his beautiful face squished by Iwaizumi’s hand, it was a hilarious sight that made the other boy smile for a moment. Then he became serious again.

\- You should have told me.

\- I know, I’m sorry, I’m still learning the witchcraft of truthfulness.

\- Do you know how to be truthful?

Clearly not, Oikawa thought, but just shook his head.

\- Feel. Take the lead and fight for it. Swirl and dive in it.

Oikawa softly smiled. He had always admired Iwaizumi’s honesty. It was so pure, so inspiring… It had always filled him with strength. He closed his eyes as he raised his hands and framed Iwaizumi’s face.

\- I feel… overwhelmed with you and by you, Hajime. – he said, with his eyes closed and savouring the moment. This was it. He did it.

Iwaizumi admired Oikawa’s beauty for a second and felt the muscles of his face threatening to form a smile. Oikawa revelled in those soft, sweet, precious feelings as he promised himself he’d never forget how to tell Iwaizumi the truth. He felt so incredibly happy for knowing what it means to connect… He was so lost in that bliss that he barely noticed that the pressure on his face disappeared but could clearly feel Iwaizumi’s strong arms embracing him and possessively pulling him closer. He didn’t dare to open his eyes, trusting completely in Iwaizumi’s action. And then, pure magic electrified him once he felt cautious lips pressing against his. He instinctively hugged Iwaizumi, relishing on the feeling of their first kiss.

The dark-haired boy felt his heart accelerate even more and tried to engrave that taste in his memories so that he’d recall it forever. He was amazed with how good Tooru tasted and how familiar yet foreign those intimate touches felt. He’d lost count of the times he had secretly dared to wonder how it would feel to touch and taste him that way but reality was so, so much better that he was willing to pass through all the pain and difficult moments again if it meant that this would always be the ultimate outcome.

After a few seconds of contained euphoria, Oikawa finally and gloriously lost himself to the kiss, lowering his arms and pulling Iwaizumi by his waist. Then he opened his mouth, demanding entrance and conquering dominance with his tongue. Without further warning, their kiss became needy and desperate, as they purged all the fears and sorrow away. However, after they’ve calmed down, sweetness resurfaced and they explored and ravel in the exquisite feeling and presence of each other. Finally, desire won over the tenderness of their touches and they used more force to get closer and to express just how much they loved and craved for each other.

They parted breathlessly and Oikawa found out that his hands had travelled all over Iwaizumi’s torso and were on his face again. He leaned in and their foreheads touched. He’d had an awful day, an annoying week and a stressful month, but all of it had vanished and all he could feel was energetic happiness, soft care, intense need and profound love.

Oikawa and Iwaizumi appreciated the silence and the sacred relationship they had, full of hope and curious to discover what the future had in store for them. They didn’t want to part or go home because breaking that magic feeling was a sin. Therefore, they ended up doing the rest of the way with Oikawa’s arm resting on Iwaizumi’s shoulder.

When they arrived at Iwaizumi’s place, they kissed languidly again and hug as if the world was about to end.

\- Okay, I have to go now. – Iwaizumi said, as he gently pushed Oikawa away – See you tomorrow.

\- Will you dream with my beautiful face?

I will dream with your beautiful mouth, Iwaizumi thought.

\- Don’t flatter yourself.

\- I do that because you never praise me!

\- You’re incredible. Now shut up and go home.

\- Not without my goodbye kiss! - Oikawa demanded cheerfully.

\- Is this how it’s going to work?

\- Yep, until I manage to spend the night with you.

Iwaizumi sighed and faked annoyance as Oikawa's arms were thrown over his shoulders.

\- What an insufferable idiot.

* * *

.


	6. With Oikawa

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the scene that was missing and, with it, comes the end of this small little work! Probably I'll write more about these two in the future, I just can't resist Iwaoi. Thanks for reading it and hope you let me know if you've enjoyed it!

* * *

.

Iwaizumi missed the chance to have a relaxing lunch with his teammates because he had homework to do and to deliver that afternoon. He was supposed to have done it the day before, but a certain ridiculous good (looking) student deterred him from it, deviating him from his righteous path with false promises of letting him copy his homework later. The sly bastard hadn't even done it to begin with! Iwaizumi clicked his tongue as he recalled Oikawa faking a dumb and surprised expression – _“I said that? Silly me, I didn’t even do the homework myself.”_. That guy was a master at infuriating him, goddammit, but it was worthy so… he was going to let it slide, just this once. Furthermore, he had managed to do his homework on time, so nothing bad came from it, anyways. He could even join the team and relax a bit before afternoon classes.

Iwaizumi dragged his feet up the stairs and he heard noise and uncontrollable laughter as soon as he grabbed the door knob to the rooftop. He felt happy and excited for having such good and fun friends, such a great and close team. He opened the door and the sunlight blindly kissed him. His friends were lying or sitting on the floor with the sun bathing and warming their skins. Some of them were holding their bellies and the first years were making a serious effort to ban a fit of laughter from their mouths or were trying to apologize for daring to fail. Sitting in a central position, Aoba Johsai’s Volleyball Team Captain was pouting and protesting against Mattsun and Makki, who were sitting in front of everyone holding something in their hands, as if they were telling a story. Whenever he could, he also managed to threat the new students with harsh physical punishment during practice.

\- No knight of mine shall be this weak! Peasants! – General Oikawa barked dramatically at the first years, who were again earnestly apologizing. Then he turned to Mattsun and Makki. – And you stop being so mean to your wonderful Captain!

\- Sorry Oikawa, but you were too flawless. We just couldn’t bear it anymore.

\- Yeah, everybody was just too emotional and proud of you, we needed some fresh air.

\- We’ve been getting it since the beginning! – he shrieked, pointing a finger up the air to prove his point. He was careful enough to resist the urge of sticking up _that finger_.

Iwaizumi approached his team, clearly aware of the fact that no one had noticed his presence so far.

\- What’s going on here?

All turned to see him. The older ones barely moved to acknowledge him, cleaning some tears from their faces and trying to gain some air. The second years felt relieved for his arrival because he was the only one who could maintain order when things got to that point. The first years fought the urge to crawl to his side and hide from Oikawa’s rage, hoping that somehow Iwaizumi would be able to make him back out from all the awful exercises he said they’d have to do for a month. Mattsun and Makki beamed with excitement at the grand entrance of Iwaizumi since he couldn’t have chosen a better timing.

\- Oh, welcome Ace! Right on time.

Ah! Here came his knight! Oikawa felt triumphant with Iwaizumi's arrival and stuck his tongue out to their doomed friends. Then his rational side whispered to him that he didn't know if he was in deed going to fight all the ugly ogres or would just add gasoline to the fire. He wouldn’t give up tough, here was his chance. He turned to Iwaizumi.

\- Iwa-chan, save me! – he demanded in the most genuine and desperate way, unaware of just how cute his small rage and desire of punishing the bad guys were to Iwaizumi’s eyes.

\- Here, take a look. – Makki said, ignoring Oikawa’s damsel in distress mode. He extended his arm and gave to Iwaizumi Seijou’s trimestral newspaper.

\- Have you seen who’s made it to the front page?

Iwaizumi squinted his eyes so that he could see it better. Oikawa was gloriously flying on the photography that occupied all the page as he waited for the ball to come and connect to his hand. It was a formidable jump serve, with the lights framing his body, creating an illusion that he’d come out of the page and turn a frozen moment in time into reality. The colours were magnificent and the contrast between light and shadow only gave more emphases to Oikawa’s power and undeniable beauty. He looked like an eagle but shone like a star. Iwaizumi was bewildered and his brain stopped functioning.

\- What do you think of it?

He thought that Tooru was the most gorgeous human being. He thought that he was incredibly lucky for having his love. And that he was definitely going to frame this front page and hide it in his closet. These answers surely weren’t going to come out of his mouth in front of the whole team, who expectantly waited for a good comeback to keep on laughing their asses off at the expenses of their flawless Captain. Iwaizumi looked down at Oikawa who eagerly waited for an answer as well. He saw in his eyes the genuine interest for an honest answer and how much he wanted to know Iwaizumi’s expert opinion. He couldn’t deny such endearing plea.

Iwaizumi gave a few steps close to Oikawa and kneeled by his side, placing a hand in the middle of his broad back. He looked again at the picture taken by Kawai and searched for the right words, ending up choosing the simplest way to describe that universal truth.

\- I think Oikawa has an amazing form. – he said, and then he looked at the teenager in question. Oikawa blushed, surprised with the open praise since it was rare for Iwaizumi to give in front of other people. His best friend (and recent secret boyfriend) insisted on pointing his flaws and obliged him to never forget that, no matter what other people said to him, he wasn’t perfect, he would fail and that was something perfectly natural because he was human. Iwaizumi had always been his anchor and compass, allowing him to be himself instead of the perfect rising superstar that Oikawa Tooru was bond to be to society in general. That was why he refrained from praising him or wash him in sugar cotton 90% of the times. That was why a compliment or sweet words that came from his mouth were so precious and highly regarded by Oikawa. Those were the words he wanted to hear the most.

\- Woah, this is a historic moment. Please elaborate Iwaizumi. – Makki mocked but wasn’t able to conceal his true interest in the matter.

\- I have nothing to add, you all know how reliable and incredible is our Captain.

After hearing those words, the team went nuts and Iwaizumi heard dumb scattered comments that warmed his heart, annoyed him and made him hide his smile, all at the same time.

\- Oh my God I’m going to cry.

\- Just make out already.

\- I can’t believe Iwaizumi-san said it!

\- But it’s true. 

\- Everyone knows it. 

\- Let me read that article again! 

\- I’m going to put it in my treasure box, alongside my precious magazines.

\- Dirty magazines.

\- It’s the same.

Oikawa wasn’t listening to the chit-chat and laughs of his team. The commotion was as lively as usual and they were building up the team strength as they joked and laughed their heads off. However, Oikawa could just be partially aware of it because he felt so incredibly happy with Iwaizumi’s words that he just worried with hiding his face. He submerged in his little secret world where all the new memories of moments shared with Iwaizumi filled his brain and accelerated his heart.

Iwaizumi was close enough to notice Oikawa’s blush and the small, pure, hidden smile. It made his heart skip a beat. He leaned in closer and murmured into Oikawa’s ear _“I want you so bad, Tooru”_. Oikawa squeaked in surprised and looked him in the eyes.

\- I need help with Maths. – Iwaizumi said casually as if nothing happened between them. – Can You help me after school, Trashkawa?

\- Y-yeah.

Mattsun caught their moment and rolled his eyes.

\- Make him pay with his body, Oikawa.

\- Shut up! – they ordered, flustered, in unison, because that was exactly what was going to happen.

* * *

.


End file.
